Understanding Engineers - Take one
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus where one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes !"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
kedd, április 08, 2008
Understanding Engineers
vasárnap, április 06, 2008
Anthony de Mello gondolatai
Arisztippusz megjegyezte:
- Ha megtanulnád a királyt szolgálni, nem kellene ilyen szeméten élned.
Mire Diogenész ezt válaszolta:
- Ha megtanultál volna lencsén élni, nem kellene a királynak hízelegned.
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Az egyik tanítványnak, aki amiatt panaszkodott, hogy képességei nagyon korlátoltak, azt mondta a Mester: - Valóban, képességeid nem korlátlanok. De észrevetted-e már, hogy ma olyan dolgokat is meg tudsz tenni, amelyeket tizenöt évvel ezelőtt lehetetlennek tartottál? Mi változott?
- A képességeim, a talentumaim.
- Nem. Te változtál.
- Az nem egy és ugyanaz?
- Nem. Az vagy, aminek magadat tartod. Amikor gondolkodásod megváltozik, te is megváltozol.
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A következő nap azt mondta a Mester:
- Haj, könnyebb utazni, mint megállni.
A tanítványok persze tudni akarták, hogy miért.
- Azért, mert amíg utazol valamilyen cél felé, addig álmodozhatsz róla. Amikor megérkezel, a valósággal nézel szembe.
- De hogyan változhatunk meg, ha nincsenek céljaink és álmaink? - kérdezték az elámult tanítványok.
- Az igazi változás nem akarásból születik. Fogadjátok el a valóságot, és a változás magától fog beállni.
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Egy férfi felszállt a buszra, s egy fiatal ember mellett kapott helyet, aki szemmel láthatóan hippi volt. Csak az egyik lábán volt cipő.
- Látom, elveszítetted az egyik cipődet, fiam.
- Nem, öregem - jött a válasz. - Találtam egyet.
Ha valami nyilvánvaló számomra, még nem jelenti azt, hogy igaz is.
– Te roppant büszke vagy az intelligenciádra – szólt a Mester az egyik tanítványhoz. - Olyan vagy, mint az az elítélt, aki büszke a börtöncellájának nagyságára.
hétfő, március 17, 2008
Végzet
péntek, március 14, 2008
Eletvezetes
egyél kevesebbet, rágj többet;
panaszkodj kevesebbet, lélegezz többet;
beszélj kevesebbet, mondj többet;
utálkozz kevesebbet, szeress többet;
és az életben minden jó dolog a tiéd lesz.”
(Sved közmondas)
csütörtök, március 13, 2008
Lehetoseg ...
(H. Jackson Brown)
kedd, március 11, 2008
Elj egyszeruen, es becsuld meg azt, amid van!
(Robert Louis Stevenson)
